Saturday, August 29, 2009

Scenes 26 & 27

Mad Anthony Wayne and Chief Little Turtle walk into a bar. General Wayne steps up and orders a drink. “What’s with the outfit,” says the bartender. Wayne ignores him. He drains his whiskey and orders another. “Who’s your friend,” asks the bartender. “The Indian.”

“He’s from Cleveland.”

The bartender smiles. “Hey, Chief Wahoo,” he calls out to Little Turtle. The Indian ignores him. He’s busy looking at a video poker machine. Wayne finishes his second drink. “200 years is a long, long time,” he says to nobody at all.

The general steps to the bar and reaches over it to spear a bag of Doritos with his sword. The bartender is not amused. “Hey Pirate Man. That’s not approved conduct here, buddy.”

Wayne ignores him, and plucks the bag off the end of the blade. “I said, HEY,” yells the bartender. Keep your toy out of my snack rack!”

Wayne whips the sword around and backs the barkeep up against the liquor shelf. “I am the Commander-in-Chief of the United States Army,” he thunders. “And you’re an insolent sloth I’d have flogged.” The bartender’s eyes are big as saucers. “I’ll have you know,” announces Wayne. “I’ve killed Redcoats with this sword.” People are staring. “And Creeks,” continues the general. “And some of his lot, too.” He nods toward LT. “I can’t recall running through an ill-bred barkeep, but I think I ought to have.”

“General Wayne,” says Little Turtle.

Mad Anthony returns his sword to its scabbard. LT turns back to the video poker machine in disgust.

“May I have another drink. My good sir,” says Wayne. The barkeep obliges him. Nervously.



Blinky is hovering outside the station, popping up in the window every time the lawyer looks away. He’s waving his arms like he’s calling an incomplete pass, and mouthing DON’T DO IT!” Tom is staring at him, trying to understand, when the lawyer stands up and says something into his watch. Behind him, Claude and the meaty guy get out of the back of the Sucke Brothers Truck and start toward him.

Blinky shakes his head one more time at Tom and slips around the back of the station.

Claude and friend stand guard in the lot.

Blinky wanders over to the Star-Lite, walks in, looks around, fails to see Myron for one of two possible reasons: a) because he’s sitting on the far side of the giant salad bar, and/or b) because he may have been peeing at the time. Blinky sits down for a game of video golf. He’s a quick study. After a string of early bogeys, he shoots a 29 on the back nine. He turns and scans the bar again, looking for Myron. No luck. On his way out he walks past a booth where Little Turtle is sitting. “Hey,” says Blinky. Wayne sits opposite the chief. They’re looking at a newspaper.

“I saw you guys earlier. Yeah, at Greenville. You guys were great.” He gestures to the costumes. “This is very intense. The work that goes into those things. Amazing. You play Little Turtle, right? And you’re that pompous guy. The General.”

“Where is your friend?” asks the Indian. “The sour one.”

“I don’t know.”

“He mentioned going to the water,” says LT.

“Are the two of you headed somewhere?” asks Wayne.

“We’ve been debating that,” says Blinky. “Myron says we’re on vacation. But I don’t think that describes it.” Blinky leans in and whispers, “We’re making a passage,” confides Blinky.

“What do you mean, a passage,” asks Wayne.

“Going from one state to another. But not like say, Illinois and Indiana. Like a state of being. This is my philosophy. You can drive around, or you can go somewhere serious.”

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